[Valid Atom 1.0] Life With Cake: Eating Disorder Blog: "I FEEL FAT"

Sunday, December 11, 2011

"I FEEL FAT"

I recently attended a conference where psychologist Ann Kearney-Cooke gave a fantastic lecture about body image and decoding the language of I feel fat. Her philosophy is that a situation occurs--it could be you just tried on a pair of jeans that were tight or something completely unrelated, like you got angry with your sister--which then triggers you to become negatively focused on your body image in some way. Suddenly you are aware of this body part or that body part, and end up "feeling" fat.

This feeling distracts you from an emotion, thought, or belief you had (have) about yourself regarding the situation that occurred just before you had the negative body image thought. It may sound confusing, but think about it the next time you start body checking or focusing on negative body image thoughts. What prompts you to start focusing on your body image? Many of you might say that it just "happens" and is automatic.

While that might be true because body checking and the hyper focus on body image becomes habitual, I challenge you to start being mindful of specific situations that trigger body image thoughts. Just what are you distracting yourself from? It is often much easier to focus on body image than to face the deeper implications of your emotional/mental/cognitive state.

For instance, if you pass another woman on the street, make a comparison (and subsequent judgment on yourself), and suddenly "feel" fat, then maybe you are distracting yourself from your belief that you just don't feel good enough. This might lead to the fact that you're single, which then could lead to the feeling that you will never be in a relationship because you don't feel good enough or pretty enough, which could then trigger your ultimate fear of being alone and abandoned. After that takes place in a millisecond (perhaps on a less conscious or subconscious level), you suddenly look down at your thighs and believe they are so much larger than they were 30 seconds ago. Pardon my long example, but this is how it can happen.

Maybe it is completely unrelated to body image, like, you are worried about getting into graduate school or are procrastinating about studying for a test. It is much easier to focus on body image, as well as engage in ED behaviors than to face potential failure or to have to buckle down and face the dread of doing something you don't want to do.

I think it is common to think of ED symptom use as what you actually do with food. But, body checking and focusing on body image is also an eating disorder symptom. Whether it is the food or the body image, all of it serves as a distraction to a larger issue. So, as you go through your day today and catch yourself body checking or focusing negatively on some part of yourself, ask yourself the question, "How is my body image distracting me from being present?"

12 comments:

ByMeForYou said...

Thank you for sharing. I never thought about body checking being a symptom all on its own. This disease is all about avoiding emotions / life / reality. Thank you for making me aware of this, sounds silly but I really had never noticed. Once again I learn how cunning, destructible this thing is.

Wonderful blog! I write as well...it's the best way to heal.

Nobody Girl said...

This is a great entry! It reveals the deeper function of EDs, and helps educate people that EDs are not just about looks! I just finished blogging about this (though on a more personal and basic level), and I'm glad I happened across this. Very validating.

Susu Paris Chic said...

Wow, how helpful! I know "the fat feeling" so well. Getting hold of it one realization after another is so precious. It isn't true, real, yet feels so real. What triggers it...? I have an idea on mine - comparing, frustration, disappointment, fashion mags... which I also love.

Ophelia said...

This is a wonderful, insightful blog and your posts always give me more and more hope and strength - thank you x

Emily said...

I thought that body checking was normal and feeling fat wasn't a symptom. I thought I was safe from just feeling fat as long as I didn't do anything negative with that feeling. This opened my eyes.

Erin said...

Thank you so much for this article. I definately suffer with the "fat feeling." A dear girl Jenny and I have just started a new blog about our experience with bulimia. Please check it out:

http://beautybeyondbulimia.wordpress.com

Thank youuu:)
xo
Erin

Amy Lee said...

I am just starting out on the long road to recovery, and I am going to continue checking in on you for inspiration. You're spot on about the "fat feeling". I just wish this negative thinking would go away all on its own!

Kelly said...

Thanks, for the great entry. I have been struggling with bulimia over the last few years, and I have never really taken the time to analyze my body checking habits. I felt this entry did an excellent job of highlighting how quickly negative feelings can lead to a negative view of body image. If you are also suffering from bulimia, I have found thesebulimia storiesto be very inspiring.

Cheryl said...

Great post, thanks for this, Greta! The fact remains that America, the fashion industry, and media is obsessed with skinny. And I think that women can't help but be influenced by all of that. My own daughter is struggling with anorexia, and I've thrown out all the magazines in our house. But the influence is still there. I've been reading some of the advice at http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-eda, and have found some of the methods very useful for understanding exactly what my daughter is going through.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I didn't realize it till after I read this, but I do these things and "feel" fat! It's not a good feeling. This really helped.

Hirshel Donnelly said...

The people who feel the same way should be aware of such things. I think, after reading this, the best thing to do is to ask someone who has experienced the same symptoms, or better yet, an expert.

Jerome said...

I am searching about eating disorder stories of recovery and I come across your site. My younger sister had eating disorder which was just recently discover and I want to help her so I also set up a site which I want to open the eyes of others to the eating disorder awareness world.