[Valid Atom 1.0] Life With Cake: Eating Disorder Blog: Eating Disorder Recovery Milestones

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Eating Disorder Recovery Milestones

One major milestone in ED recovery is when time passes and you don't think about your eating disorder. What I mean is that you don't wonder about or entertain the thoughts of purging after a meal, or restricting until dinner. You don't have to exercise to burn calories. You can wear clothes even if they might make you look heavier than you are. More importantly, you can go out in public on a "fat" day. Most importantly, your "fat" days are fewer and farther in between.

While I have been in recovery for a long time, my eating disorder was a treacherous battle that lasted for nearly half of my life. The eating disorder voice, though much quieter, can still be present. When this happens, it is an indication that something else is going on.

Given that it is a holiday weekend, I have an extra day off. In the past, I would cherish a day off to rest, only to ruin it with a weekend of bingeing and purging--which would make me needing a vacation by the time I returned to work.

I woke up today, however, and realized that I haven't been obsessing or thinking about food at all, really. One early in recovery or a person without having an eating disorder might think that it is odd that after all of these years I can still think of food. Given our culture, it is nearly impossible NOT to think of food, weight, body image, etc. What can I say? When you come from a place of purging 20-30 times a day for half of your life, you are bound to hear ED thoughts, even years later. That is just a reality. It isn't everyone's--especially when EDs come in all forms, with different levels of severity and chronicity--but it is mine.

Does that mean I am imprisoned by it still? NO. For many years in my recovery, I still had a notion of "getting back" to that "perfect" weight again, or thinking that I could use the ED to fall back on if I needed to from time to time. But then, I got to a place where I JUST DON'T CARE. While the ED voice sometimes try to entice me, trying to engage me and reminisce about days when I was thinner (and miserable), I don't care about it enough to do anything about it.

The message.... LIFE is so much more than the ED--REALLY. Yes, it serves as a nice distraction and gives one a false sense of security and protection. But that is just a cruel ruse. EDs waste time and waste lives. For those struggling and reading this--YOU can recover!!!!


Knessey said...

Im really happy about ya!
This blog is really like a shot of "healthy thinking"!
Thanks honey! Keep it up!
Wish ya tons of love and keep getting better!

willing_to_recover said...

This is so true. I still need to get to the stage of not thinking of it for ages, but i am able to rationalise my thoughts that ED will solve life's problems. What a lie!

Great post it brings you back down to earth :)

Sam said...

i have a blog offering tips to those still suffering from Mia. Please take a few seconds to look at it.

loverunhappiness said...

i love your thinking, and honestly i long for the day where im not so obsessive over ever calorie in or out. gosh you just put everything so well, like you pulled it out of my head. do people you know in real life, as opposed to internet life, know about your disorder?

Anonymous said...

great blog! i just started one of my own


Kristen said...

just found your blog-hope you update! this post is so true-I am in the recovery stages and always feel a sense of pride when I have gone a few days (or just hours!) without obsessing. thanks for your honesty!

Katie Phillipx said...

Hi all

I agree, fantastic blog! I myself used to have suffer from bulimia from age 16-21 and at 26 am happy to say i'm fully recovered!
I'm now an English teacher living in Sydney and have always wanted to be a published novelist. i'm in the process of writing my first novel at the moment. As you can imagine, the best characters to create are those that are drawn from our life experiences, so it will not be a surprise then that my central character suffers with bulimia.
I was wondering if anyone would be interested in conversing by email with me about stories they have had, difficulties faced etc. so that i may create an even more rounded and realistic character? The character i'm talking about actually stars her own blog in the novel so i'm trying to read as many as i can!
Would be great to hear from you if you are keen. Please contact me at ktp_247@hotmail.co.uk

my-thin-dreams said...

Amazing! Days without visit toilet are great, becouse we're feeling that we can fight with ED! And not just feel... but we have another chance to start figth with this sad problem!
I'm so happy about you recovery. I think that everybody who has ED (all kind) sometimes thik about his/her look, about legs, stomach, body, calories etc. but not all of the time, and without this scary, unnatural obsession.

You're so cool! You're so strong, and I know it! We must fight and live :*

Chloe said...

I have just found your blog and have spent quite a while lying in bed reading pretty much every single post!! As a 20 year old girl struggling to recover from Bulimia myself, I find everything you have written both touching and inspiring. I feel that I can relate to everything you are talking about...please keep updating us! I have favorited your blog and and intend to keep on reading as you post. :) x

Kola said...

you really are a voice of hope and reason for so many young girls struggling with eating disorders. i hope people continue to find your blog and share it with those that so desperately need to hear this


Carmen said...

Thank you. Your blog has inspired me to start on my own recovery. :)

ivfmexico said...

Thanks for sharing the idea there would be some apprehensions from segment but i am up for it.
how much does ivf cost in Mexico

Help eating disorders said...

This is a great blog! I'll save your blog to inspire our clients to read it when they have time! :D

Emily M. said...

Thank you so much for your encouraging blog. I will be showing it to my friend that has battled bulimia/anorexia for seven years now.

Kris said...

Thinking about life without this seems so hard, so far. But reading about your recovery, your happiness gives me a bit of hope.

This is never ending, a cycle, circle .. it's exhausting. I binged most of today. I was 'clean' for 2 weeks. Really discouraged right now, it feels like I'll never get out of this.

When I read about your recovery I envy you and yet it also sparks something in me thinking I can do it too, that IT CAN BE DONE. It's just something that needs to be worked at everyday...realizing that you are better than it, deserve to be happy.

Anyway thank you for your honesty and openness. I write as well if you ever need another outlet, view point or to get out of your own head.

Keep it up. You're worth it.

Jude said...

I can relate to everything you've said. Thank you so much for posting this. Sometimes I feel like I'm completely better and other times it feels like I'll never really be cool with food. Right now I'm struggling with sugar addiction and binge eating, I think this is common for former sufferers of anorexia. If anyone else out there is transitioning out of one ED into another, laugh and cry along with me at http://butimnotperfect.wordpress.com/

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Great blog i really like how true it all is ..

i would like to share this website that helped me if thats ok with the admin of the blog as i know it will help others .

Anonymous said...

Thankyou so much. I have recently started my recovery and although i didn't realise it till reading your blog, i desprattly needed to hear from a recovered ED victim. I'm sick of hearing about dead anorexic's. Thats too negative thinking for me.
So, truely... thank you.